Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
