If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
