AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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