dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize