is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
