We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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