There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize