There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Congratulations! We have a period
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
