I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We are two peas in an std pod
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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