I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I party with great urgency now.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize