Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
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