We're facebook friends in real life
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
