somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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