those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
