p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
