is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
