You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
