He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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