I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
