I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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