if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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