As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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