Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
