what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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