We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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