Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
