you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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