I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
