Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
