you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
