my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
