She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize