Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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