Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
