dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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