good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We just shotgunned beers for America
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
