My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize