Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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