Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Randomize