So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
