Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Did I show you my penis last night?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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