I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize