I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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