Your face is a jimmy john
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
