I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
