Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You pole danced in your parka.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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