We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
