I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
