Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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