I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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