Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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