I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
