You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
