walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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