This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
