Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
