last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
