I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
