dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
