i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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