It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
