i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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