i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize